No Cygnet for Sleep

No Cygnet for Sleep: 13

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


The Truth is the Myth

By Jivan Ward

I say, Suna? What about her?
Ané stand at my confusion. She pull door plain sight hidden in the wall. Open to spiral staircase like descent to hell and wind blow out say, Stay away. We down flights round and down round and chill, grab arm and no sound but echo of sole and stair steel then stair concrete and brick and gravel crunch. Ané smartphone light white beacon to unknown. Walls peek out wet and mould green strands down to floor and stairs plateau and long corridor lit by dim light. Green door: Warning High Voltage Danger of Death. She turn off smartphone light to rattle keys and rattle up and into the world above, a jingle for deadeye Patches. I imagine their saturate blue eye twinkle and…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 12

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


And Gaslight

By Jivan Ward

Ané lead down stainless steel corridor. Same blur shine same disinfectant death pong all same except blinds drawn down no dead-eyes today. Maybe I was supposed to see. Maybe they have a dead-eye Tuesdays. She knee length red suit dress calm no expression but for concrete slab say, We’ve tried all types, different races, different classes, genes, collecting information, beta readings, our tests are generally successful but there’s a grace period then a 90% chance that a Patch will die. She turn to blind take out remote and blind rise and I not look until I see corner eye her dead matted brown hair and white cud from mouth to stainless steel counter. Dead-eye blue stare at TV. Ané look down corridor. I say, But there’s more to it right?

Her office…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 11

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


 No Escape From Eagle’s Lair

By Jivan Ward

Feel like ghost that haunt house now centenary as I walk through doors. Different. Just perspective change. I not wear those love goggles I wear fear and paranoia like second skin bumpy like bitten by thousand mosquitoes. Ané open door saw confusion start up smile to cold shoulder she invite me in and I stand to wait for sign of what to say or what to do. Small talk guise of radar phantom fingers feeling out feeling. She talk with intention cocooned – but what butterfly? Think I abandon without contact leave two month relationship in a murmur past. She swallow doubt and offer me seat at table to talk and eat and thankfully say, Beer or wine? I sit look down corridor and gallery of pictures look round…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 10

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


No Impasse For Cattle

By Jivan Ward

There small window in her apartment overlook park and service station. Watch damp wood window sill go green. Watch leaves fall clog drain and disintegrate under tyre and cold like glass sheeting. We turn off phones, unplug TV, she no modem. There no connection outside but that window and park and service station. Watch cars come and go and fill up. Watch families come and go and play. Watch Suna go and come, I only stay. Part me sorry. She open my eye to Xana and Ané and I just sleep and eat what she bring and look out window at park and service station. She touch leg say, We need to go back to the lab. She squeeze arm say, We need to find out what they’re doing. Sit…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 9

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


For Your Eyes Only

By Jivan Ward

Her car like dingy second hand comedy car that burp the gases that’ll kill the trees. Early morning she text me. Good morning!, she say, Ready to lose your mind? She try be funny but disparaging look at Ané is some bitter-not-sweet perspective I have to/can’t see. We wait round corner there mist up the window she say, Someone might think we’re fucking, and giggle not sure why she laugh. Door shut we see Ané walk toward us heart jump up throat I sink in seat Suna laugh say, She won’t see us through our fuck-densation.

We two car behind feel like cop movie and I’m the newbie. Business district rear ugly head miles over horizon. We park before a dock entrance and their glass crowns loom over us by…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 8

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


Cygnet_8

Cygnus Atratus

Black eyes at me say, I’m Suna.

She asked about Ané grab my arm and asked about Xana. Wonder she came on the bus. Wonder she’s follow me home. Look over shoulder after oyster card beep. She lean to bus stop smoking eyes smoking nods and winks at me. Door rubber lip squeak and bundle shut. Upstairs hold rail when bus jerk into traffic and turn to gallery of blue carpet seats half full and sit. She still there look up at me and drop butt on floor crush with black boot heel and wave walk away.

Sat-Nav-Android-Lady Say: Chiswick Police Station. But we’re nowhere near.

Black eyes not deviate. She stand in front I say, I-I’m not interested. Sigh she pull twenty deck from flannel shirt dress pocket bite to fag in teeth. Lighter…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 7

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


Cygnet_7

No Such Thing as Serendipity

By Jivan Ward

Open eyes to Ané thong bottom. Too early for Saturday, I yawn, roll round to black and turn back. She dressed and she kiss cheek say, Sorry I have work, I’ll…around seven if…hang out tonight. Lips fresh lipstick smack against mine. Hands round waist I pull in. She knee on mattress laugh and I moan and smile to acceptance. We kiss and door click as she leave. Small gesture mean big thing. Her phone ring she loud say, Hi yes Sun I’m just leaving now, I’ll be there soon. Door slam, chain rattle. I up no way sleepy now. I up and roll hip to plant feet on carpet, cold tickle. Stretch yawn. Wander to kitchen find coffee pot half full and warm. Stomach folds and smile springs up…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 6

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


Nothing But Wool

By Jivan Ward

She text me rearrange date seem concern. Agree place agree time better late than never. Now make sure I don’t wait aim be five ten late and go table and sit and talk, awesome. Indo-Chinese fusion or spice heaven ever prefer. Hardly far hardly packed waitress say Take a seat I’ll be with you soon. I early again. Look out high street shop window flush grey rain patter puddle legs pass and past they walk out fathom out perception out page into elsewhere. Chair screech she sit down in front me say Hi stranger. Cringe I say Hey, how’re you? She twenty year of grey-tint-yellow-plaque and start about bus drivers and puddles and complain there’s rain in London.

Waitress menu ask for drinks beer for me Cee say, Water’s fine. Waitress…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 5

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


No More Bliss

By Jivan Ward

Open eyes to grainy dark blink and black-noise almost vibrate about me. Sticky sweat I push duvet up off to double layer you groan and roll to side hear you fall in to sleep. I up no way sleepy now I up. You breathe mouth like fish baba-ing against bed sheet hair tucked under your neck and I stretch yawn and croak.
Dark, can’t turn bright or you wake I don’t know if you sleep heavy or. Dark, hope I remember layout. Touch toes lightly on carpet and heel follow suit press up and stand and black-noise shuffle around like I deep in tranquil tornado. I hand slip through to feel side of double bed lead to fuckshit. Fucking. Bed. Post. Fucking. Fu–sshhhh Ané probably freak out if wake up and…

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No Cygnet for Sleep: 4

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

‘No Cygnet for Sleep’ contains strong language, sexual scenes, drug use, and gore.


No Escape From Eagle’s Eye

By Jivan Ward

I early wade through bodies stand by bar sip pint and wait for text. Last text Hugo try inspire me excitement say She’s fit, Kami, she’s well fit. Last time I date awful I blunder on top blunder her eyes spoke disappointment and never again. I look round to tight dresses necklace earrings sway like wind chimes and dress shirts or T-shirts some men in between. Look round to bar amiable subdued neon blue hue no bass thud drum beat oppression here talk audible and think talk what I should plan now. Natural and flirty they say Be Yourself. Talk about what she interested. Smirk never smile. Read online touch first thing glance hand on arm and relax and Kami don’t drink too much for fuck’s sake. Sip pint and…

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